Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
