I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
