did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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