yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
