I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize