she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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