this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
