it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
