btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
