remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
