we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
