If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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