You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Randomize
