i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
