i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
