Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is the high leading the old right now
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
