I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
