i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
