is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
