Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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