You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
