the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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