you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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