We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
