After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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