Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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