Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
