Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
