and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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