I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
