I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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