He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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