i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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