why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
