ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
