I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
