Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
