hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize