I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
As shirtless as possible
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
