I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
