Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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