: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize