The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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