Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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