you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
