Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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