I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I haven't been this sober since birth.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
