I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
