I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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