yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
wow bdsm is so cute
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
