Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
