ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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