Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im holly from the hills drunk
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
