Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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