Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
