I heard we made out
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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