he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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