You're so nebulous sometimes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
