He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
