Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
