Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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