had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
