Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
