that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
